My minds going a mile a minute im happy im mad im confused. I kinda feel like I may be having a slight breakdown but with no recollection as to y… I feel like a what not a who an object to be used (PS nothing brought on any of this just lying in bed looking into darkness…. im a mess)
…so maybe I’m paranoid
I’ve always been simple. I’ve always been slow. I’ve always had my “moments”. I’ve never been a fool.
I’m brave, scared, strong, weak, smart, dumb, whole, broken, happy, sad, confused, used, angry, content, high, sober, drunk, dying, living, laughing, crying…. I’m empty and lost in need of salvation my mind if full but blank and if u think u understand what u see here u cant even start. I used to be one now I’m 2 some times I’m one up one down one me the other i dont know who. This is my mind sometimes i lose it this time I’m lost.
How can I still be so scared of my stupid evil ass licking cunt faced douche of an ex that if I only THINK I see him in public I feel the need to hide, cry run or finally walk up and get my peace by fully bitch flipping and tearing that disgusting piece of shit a new one. I probably should mention I saw my ex on the skytrain, lucky me. I was so scared he’d see me and talk to me I started to shake cry and hopped right of the train (thank god they come every 5 or so min). I felt so pathetic I have so many things to say… ugh Bandaid I need u a field and some yelling screaming and crying… please don’t let me punch a tree it hurts.
PS text me when u read this baby doll <3
Wishing I could spend the 14the with a super amazing man <3 ill for sure be thinking about him the whoollleee day and ill hopefully Skype with him that night ;p just sayin lol
U should vent ur cheesy on me and send flowers to my work Valentine’s day :p (fucking chick flicks Nicole I blame u)
Ya today’s a write off woke up to stress and the sound of a pissed off 3 year old yup back to bed for another 2-1000000000000 hours
I’m getting that knotted feeing in my tummy =( but oh well I know everythings fine. I stress to much time to chill and sleep.